Sometimes I wonder if I am moving forward. I wish I could see my progress in any sort of way. This winter I have felt just so on and off. Times I felt really good about myself and my abilities. Other times I ran away. Other times I felt depressed.
After all this time why do I still fear people? Why to I want to run away at times? Of course I have made huge improvements in the last year. But I’m still not the person I want to be.
Am I the only one that finds it so weird to be alive? I feel like it doesn’t even register. Many things. Colors, textures, the scenery, the people I meet day to day.
I want to try harder. But I wish I could learn to relax, and enjoy the ride. But I want to be a stronger person.
I feel like myself is growing but I just can’t see it. I just don’t realize it.