A nostalgic vivid dream

My ex-girlfriend always said to me that she was fascinated by how I always seemed to be able to remember my dreams all the time. She could never really remember hers. Waking up today left me with an eerie and yet nostalgic feeling.

In the dream, I had met my ex again in a store but she looked more grown up and adult. Dating her she looked more like a middle school girl trying to act like an adult. Always buying expensive brand name stuff. In the dream, she was wearing one of those simple wool sweaters that really made her breasts noticeable. I think the color was blue? Her hair was much shorter too. It didn’t make her look like a guy but it was done in a feminine kind of way, but it was still pretty short by my standards. I remember the reaction I had. I felt like kicking myself for breaking up with someone who would have become so beautiful.

I remember the setting was a college in the state I am from, but I have never actually been there. I remember following my ex outside. I remember losing her at one point and was just walking around the campus. Brown stone comes to mind. I also remember RPG maker some how being a part of this dream. There was something 8-bit about this dream but I can’t remember how. After walking around I remember coming to a church build on the campus. I remember finding it very strange because I didn’t think the college was anything affiliated with Catholicism. I went inside to find it looked very much like the church I had attended growing up with my parents. Everything looked almost exactly the same. Although, the painting of St. Francis at the alter seemed distorted and painted in a different style. Walking around there were a lot of strange religious statues in the aisles. One even surprised me because it was moving. I remember being like, “Who put this thing here?”

Walking out of the church, I caught up with my ex again. I remember seeing her and jumping down from a platform onto a sandy surface. I remember metal bars around. There was a sunset in the background. I think I had apologized for the horrible things I said when I was drunk to her, and that I was sorry for breaking up. I remember shouting, “But, I just couldn’t deal with the distance!”

And then I woke up. I wonder what it all means?

Today was rather hard since I had to go shopping but I stayed sober again today.
Days sober: 4

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Filed under Reflection, Relationship

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