I haven’t watched The Simpsons in a very long time. I really liked it when I was watching it as a kid growing up in the 90’s. And as someone living in Japan and studying the language, one episode in particular comes to mind. I think it was during season one because season one was a lot different in style from the other seasons there after.
Anyway, in the episode Bart does a student exchange where he goes to France. Living in France he has no idea about the language. The people he was sent to live with begin to treat him poorly too, but he can’t really do anything about it. They make him stomp on grapes for the wine and give the donkey the pile of hay to sleep on. So Bart is forced to sleep on dirt. Near the end of the episode, Bart is told to go out and buy something. He runs into a French police officer. As he tries to explain to the officer his situation in English, the officer smiles but doesn’t understand. As Bart walks away crestfallen he starts to talk to himself out of frustration only to suddenly start speaking fluent French.
As time goes on here in Japan. I feel more and more like that situation is going to happen. Something is going to happen. One day I am just going to wake up and not even realize I’m speaking Japanese. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care about making mistakes. I am so aloof that I just don’t care. I want my feelings to be expressed. I want my way of thinking to be recognized. Before I was afraid of being hurt and afraid of hurting others. But I’m tired of it. I don’t care if I’m hurt. I don’t care if I hurt others.
I’ve lived too much of my life keeping my feelings to myself.
No one gives a fuck.