Well it’s that time again where students are taking their finals before the winter vacation which is about three weeks away. I never understood why Japan has their exams so early. By making it so early it just makes the rest of the time up until the break wasted time. Students can just piss around and not do work. Implying they actually do their work any other time.
Anyway, as for myself, I feel like I have finally got a grip on reality. Yesterday felt like I was meeting someone I had not seen for a while. My reserve and thinking was just much different than the other times I had tried to pull myself together. August to November have been hard to deal with. I was mourning. I was trying to find a way to recreate myself. Instead I ran from reality and gave into alcoholism. Alcoholism became my barrier for the harsh reality. But I couldn’t help but mourn. Mourn for the death of a relationship. The death of relatives. The death of thinking I will always be here and so will those that I love.
I feel like I have finally pulled myself together. And as I go through each day. I have to face the new reality that I am entering a new phase of my life. While my early 20s were about trying to find myself, and my mid 20s were about putting what I discovered into practice. My late 20s are going to be about finding something I work at daily for the rest of my life. It’s time I decide where I need to move next.